Drink Song

I used to be able to sit right down and manifest

Something that you could tap your feet to if

You caught the right beat, either hit or miss

Mostly they were hits, and they would hit

Like Teddy Ballgame I'd write raps all days

Energy was second nature, give me five minutes

To get some water catch my breath then I'd spit it

But, somewhere along the line we got caught up in chasing women

Trying to find a way to get drunk, not every night

But most nights cause being under 21

You don't know where the next case gonna come

So you gotta take advantage and have a little fun

Till, fun succumbs to what alcohol normally do

Cause depression or lower tempers till that night

Out on the town turns into ambulances and bar fights

And all I wanted to do was watch a football game

Till I realized that mixing drinks half and half took away the pain

Yeah, it'd take away something, it'd take away your mind

Babbling on about nothing, can't even talk, slip and fall on your behind

Trying to make it to the bathroom, or at least a back room

That's dark enough that maybe you'll just fade in with the black

While all the while you gotta listen to high school kids or college freshman

I'm not sure which, couldn't tell from that much of a distance

Talk about how they've partied four nights out of the week

And you stand there thinking you're drinking just to get some sleep

Cause when the sun goes down them demons they creep

And a few half and halfs takes away that insomnia fast

And a few half and halfs and you finally get enough nerve

Worked up to get your cell phone and text this one girl

Till it turns into a habit, drinking and dialing, messaging and texting

Till it gets just a little out of hand and you're sexting

Brett Favring, Kanye Westing, and what scares me

Is that it's happening with younger kids, and I don't mean seventeen or sixteen

They thirteen or fourteen school nights out in the hills with a bottle

Sugared with some sweeteners so that it tastes like juice

And the music's blaring from someone's truck and dancing makes you feel loose

And it doesn't take the most skilled sweet-talker to entice her

To let him give her a ride home, that he ain't been drinking that much

And when that doesn't work, straight to physically contact lemme rub up

Against you, and he slowly makes his way in

And the only way she getting out of this is if one of her friends

Comes to the rescue, till they get tired of having to watch your back

But since you juiced up on them cherry and raspberry tasting drinks

It isn't long before you're on your back

Till it comes to the next morning and you wondered what it was that you did or didn't

Wishing that you could go back in time but that truth doesn't remain hidden

And you might change the way you act, for a week or two shit maybe even four

Till you get a text saying that this dude's older brother was able to get some more

Alcohol for another party out in the middle of nowhere

And it don't take much arm-twisting for you to go and you swear

That you'd only have one or two, but then again considering

You ain't even got a driver's license yet, one or two

Is far enough to get you back to dancing and feeling loose

It's a horrible truth, and I've seen it over and over

From my older cousin's era to my generation

And my younger siblings everyone needs a little hydration

Feeling parched, and that drink turns you into something that you either love or hate

It all depends on the date really cause it's taken case by case

Some days moshing and jumping around like House of Pain was in the club

Some days you want nothing better than to piss off everyone you can think of

So which one is it? Then they ask me to point that introspective lens at myself

And it takes me two seconds to remind them of all the bottles I had on my shelf

And it takes them two seconds to fire back at me that I've turned soft

Turned pussy cause I don't wanna drink into oblivion

Or want to buy them anymore alcohol even if they were 20, and they make me the villain

Turned from, King to might as well be the enemy in their eyes

Cause I was the person standing in between them and their high

I'd like to be the voice of reason, and yeah I've tried

I do it all the time with myself, either to stop myself from doing something or to justify

The actions that I'm taking with my life

That's like, justifying doing crack and saying at least it ain't meth

Or, getting wasted at your own crib and saying that's what's best

Cause at least you ain't downtown driving drunk or worse

It's a curse, it is what it is, all I really wanna do now is live

My own life based off my own decisions

Which usually turns into my own transgressions

Actions turning into overstepping

My limits till it all comes crashing down and it takes me a few weeks

To sort through the mess, either depressed or obsessed

So I just repress until I realize that I'm the reason for why I'm oppressed

But that's the life of a perfectionist, everything needs to be done with finesse

Not OCD, more so a control freak like puppets and strings

But you can't control the way that somebody else feels or thinks

Say it twice to make sure that it really sinks in

You can't control the way that somebody else feels or thinks

The best you can do is try to do what you do and be you

If it's true then one day everything will synch

Perfectly and if not, you can't force the way that the wind blows

Or the earth spins, or some other cliché to make it feel OK

Till the weight of that world becomes too hard to shoulder

And there's only one option left to help alleviate the pain

So you, grab a cup, pour it with about half Mountain Dew and some ice

Then about a quarter of Vodka, repeat, rinse, recycle twice, then perhaps thrice

Till you're pouring more elixir than chaser

And hangovers don't offer much of a deterrent

Feeling discontent with all this time spent

Or, perhaps time wasted chasing some feeling

You wish you could have that you can only see if you're wasted

And maybe one day, come home from work and don't feel the need

To go straight for the fridge to pop a cap off and instead concede

That life can't be lived in this manner switching back and forth from Hulk and Bruce Banner

It's exhausting, find a hobby or something, find a basketball league to join

You'd be amazed at how much coin

You save when you're not spending it all on liquids

Get a nice meal, a juicy steak, put away them juicy fake

Apple-banana-whip-martinis or Smirnoff ices

Drinking stupid every night? Na that ain't what life is

Love Song

I can remember one time, when, well, not that I may have found love
Well, maybe caught something, but
I guess the easiest way is to start from the beginning
Had my brother with me, then we, headed over to pick up my cuz
Or, to speak with correct grammar our cousin
The sun had just slipped behind the mountains and the desert heat started to subside
It had rained a little bit earlier that morning I think, but for the most part everything was dry
We remembered there was something happening that night
Baseball games or something happening in the summertime
I had just gotten back from that dealership, old school classic ride
Went for that drop top, just to save costs in the summer cause air conditioning affects gas mileage
Or so I've been told, they tried to convert me and sell me on some hybrid
But I'd rather throw some D's on a Cadillac circa 1963 and drop the lid
Old school switches and dials with some new improved speakers and subs
Now, most would take this straight to the parking lot of the clubs
But me, I'm more so interested in riding around town, well, sort of
We're all looking for love, some in the right places but can't seem to rise above
Whatever labels or category he or she you looking at put you in
Always saying it's great to have a you as a friend
And you get put into that zone, like we're playing basketball
She out on the dance floor wrapped in somebody else's arms, while you lean against the wall
Either too proud or not enough bravado to go out and cut in
Can't rise to the certain situations that call for action, like sweeping her off her feet
You looking for love, and all they looking for is to get a nut
Kinda funny, two people that knew each other for years and years
Sharing so many of the same feelings for each other, but yet would rather settle for countless tears
Coming from chasing after the wrong guy relentlessly
Let me guess, he said that you were his only one
Felt so right when he had his arms wrapped around you, I bet you felt so warm inside his hug
Bodies so close together that you could feel his cell phone go off
Cause he forgot about putting it on silent, either vibrate or a ring tone
And as quickly as he can, he silences it, but not quick enough and you catch that song
That type of ring tone that you know another girl had to have set
And you catch a glimpse of the screen, see that contact pic
Of the guy you thought was the sweetest, deepest person you ever met
Draped in a kiss with some other chick
Full on, like they trying to revive each other lips gripped in mouth-to-mouth resuscitation
And without any hesitation, your eyes dripped with wet, big salty tears
Can't think or see clear, everything blurry, makeup staining your cheeks, hide it in fear
That somebody noticed, but the mood of the room has been set, they playing some love song
You know all the words to, dance floor darker than midnight
With some disco type ball letting out just a little bit of light
That makes it appear as though the heavens shined
Over this love you thought was perfect, but instead you get stuck, two-timed
Yet again, and you run to the bathroom to hide off in some stall
To let it all out, while all the while, I was leaned against one of the walls
Next to the bar, and saw the whole thing, I mean it happened so fast that
I couldn't help notice, and it's not like I was stalking or anything like that, luck brought us together
See, I was already there, it was me, my cousin, and my brother
We thought we'd check out the school dance, hadn't been to one in so long I forgot how they operated
Remembered that most of my peers showed up to do one thing, baiting and faking
Tricking girls that get caught up in the atmosphere that the DJ created
It's all fake, you should know by now that you can't find any love on a dance floor
Nothing but, bitches and players and hoes and wannabe pimps and whores
So then what am I doing there? The same reason how we always seem to end up in the same place
Sub-consciously and thanks to social networking we both memorize each others' steps
Like, “Oh yeah, I remember you said you were gonna show up,” but in actuality, we just wanted to see each others' face
Or just want to be in each others' presence
But yet, you're stuck constantly chasing after the same guy, and me
I'm lacking in the self-confidence needed to handle being with somebody else again
We both got our own demons, damaged somewhere along the line, so the only thing we can do is call each other friends
While, I try to come up in my head the perfect kind of situation and timing needed to confess
My feelings and emotions, and I thought that my plan was nothing sort of perfect
Time it perfectly when you come out of the bathroom after crying your eyes out
I would, sweep in on a white horse, grab your shoulders, pull you in close, wrap my arms around you
Show you that sometimes happiness could be right under your nose, just got to know
How to come to the realization that you're ready to move past these boys and their pick up lines
And cute little smiles and find yourself an authentic gentleman who'd never lie
About where he was going or who he was with never telling secrets
Yeah, it would all be perfect, I had it all planned, reposition myself so I could see the hallway
That leads down to the restrooms, they had, just enough light that you could easily recognize
Who was coming in and out, and just like that, you walked out, and, it all happened so fast
Just as I was about to walk towards you it must have been fate as your eyes caught my eyes
And there I stood, frozen in place
The dim hallway light shone over you, illuminating nothing but your face
I don't think I've ever seen something quite as beautiful before
But then, just like that, two of your friends rushed over and pushed you out the door
Yeah, they were just looking to help out and console
You like you were all grouped in some type of support council
While I was left standing next to the DJ's speaker and CD and MP3 console
And in a flash, that moment was gone, left feeling like it's never meant to be
And of course, as if the same story gets played over and over on repeat
About twenty minutes later jump on the Facebook app on my phone just to pass the time
And seen that some other dude went to your wall for everyone to see, spitting some lines
About how he saw the whole thing, and if you ever needed to talk he'd be there
That he's different from other guys that if you got to know him he'd show you how he really cares
In a rush of disgust, I grabbed my coat to head home, prolly grab a twelve pack of something
Just to let my frustrations out throw on a few of my favorite CDs and just drink
My sorrows away, and of course like, clockwork, I head to the liquor store
And I see, that same dude that just tried to hit on you
With some chick drunken as all out hell, can't hardly even walk
And he talking about, “Baby, I don't think I can wait to get you home”
So of course, another casualty losing her virginity in the back seat of some tricked-out jeep
And while he's off with another notch in the belt or however that saying goes
You're with your friends feeling better, of course thanks to him, at home
While, I don't know whether to try to intrude, thinking about, texting or calling you
Just to assert the facts, or basically act like a snitch or rat
Or instead, should I try to recreate that split-second feeling that I knew we both had
And try to comfort you and spill the facts of my feelings, or has that moment passed?
So I'm left standing, still at that liquor store, staring at all the different brands and bottle caps
Feeling nothing but trapped